Today was a day of insight mixed with the frustration. I'm learning sooo much about myself, how I learn and where my comfort zones begin and end!! Today as we were to work on the web designs for our individual website, my frustration reached its limits and I needed to step out of the classroom and take some much needed deep breaths. I contemplated whether this program was for me or not. If I was feeling this much frustration at the beginning what would it be like in the middle or end of the program? After deep soul searching and questioning, I decided that I really wanted to finish the program (for many reasons).
During this soul searching, I found that I really didn't want to leave the program because I had built some good relationships with those within the cadre. I wanted to continue to build these relationships and the community I had become a part of. The people within this groups are giving, nuturing, and hard workers, I'm not willing to give these connections up!!
At the end of the day, I sat and analyzed what it was that was leading to the frustration I was feeling and the lack of success (from my point of view) that I was seeing. What I found is that as a learner, I want direction that is clearly stated, time to work through each step and the freedom to pursue the task that fits my particular learning style. This is the first time I have sat in a class and been so lost that I wasn't sure what I was doing. (it doesn't help that I have this need to compare what I am doing to what others are doing and finding my work inadequate. Just one of many things I will be working on). That's why I had to find the reason for the frustration and try to find solutions to the problem so I could move forward. I was looking to the instructors for all information, guidance and answers and they in turn were giving me broad unspecific instructions. What was I to do?
That's when the light bulb turned on: that's what this program is all about: cognitive learning, distributed cognition and team work. The instructors don't want us to look to them for all answers, but to work within our community cadre, with each other, to find the solutions ourselves. Checking with the instructors to ensure we are on the right track is a good thing but for the majority of what we are doing, we need to rely on each other. That is the purpose of building the community we have been working in this past few days. We have a lot of knowledge within our community to draw from. We need to use those connections to move our projects forward, drawing on the expertise of those within the group. (Yes, we are all experts in different areas!!) The past three days have been a hands-on example of distributed cognition and team work using the social networks and technology available.
So what is the solution: tap the experts within my group when I am in uncharted waters. Be willing to ask those that have the expertise for help and more importantly, be ready to listen when that help is offered. Finally, the light goes on!!
